Handmade Christmas

I suddenly realised that all the projects I'd thought of for Christmas gifts, have to be done like, NOW. I had ordered these wonderful toys for Lex. Luckily, I ordered from kgw158 on etsy and he included two smaller trucks, so when Bry-D wanted to give Lex his gifts well before Christmas, we had those to satisfy Bry-D's need for instant gratification.

Lex loves the little trucks. He will actually drive them all over the house for hours. He's seen the other toys and really wants to play with them. Eliz does as well, and she keeps asking where her Christmas gifts are. I explained to her that she would remember her gifts if she saw them now, but Lex won't, since he's a baby. She still didn't like it, so I told her it's supposed to be a surprise, and she doesn't get to see her gifts because I want it to be a surprise. She found her store bought stocking stuffers-dress up jewelry, but I have some other stuff to make for her. It's a mostly handmade Christmas this year. I did much better this year than last year-I think next year will be a total handmade Christmas, which is exciting. Well, going to be late for church!

I must have needed a nap

I was falling asleep while nursing Lex(and yes, it was when he should have been drinking from a cup)so I thought, I'll just lay down, I have been up a lot at night lately. 2 and 1/2 hours later, I'm up, feeling refreshed and not sure quite what to do with myself. I remember at some point opening my eyes, thinking, I'll get up now, but then I blinked and the blink turned into sleep...so I was tired. I remember being a child and not wanting to sleep-for all sorts of reasons, some were silly and some were more silly. In college I did my best to never sleep, but it always caught up with me. Now, I want to resst, I value it, and yet, I can usually find a reason not to sleep. And now, as a mother, if a mouse hiccups down the road, I wake up. Lately it hasn't been the kids that have been waking me up, it's the dogs. 2 in the morning one of them will start whining, and scratching me until I get up and let them out. Kaya, the small one has been jumping the fence. I've decided to let her stay outside of the fence until morning, see if that makes her stop. She doesn't run away, she jumps the fence and come around to the front door. Which makes me ask,
"Why did you jump the fence?" Her response, I believe, would be,
"I got over and forgot what I was doing, so I came home. Can I go back outside Mommy?"
Dogs.

Get a tooth, lose a tooth

Well, after eleven months, Lex has finally gotten a tooth in. He was very clingy and very cranky for two days, as well as very drooly. He was also really into chewing. Then I heard a funny scraping noise when he was drinking some water, and sure enough, like a little pearl, there were the mamaleons-that's the techinical word for those ridges on the teeth when they first come in. It's tooth p, which is a lower front tooth, so he's on track in that respect. And so, not to be outdon ein the tooth area, Eliz came to me yesterday and showed me that her tooth o, the tooth next to p, is mobile. Most children loose teeth between age 6-7, however, some start at age five. I suppose, since she started at 4 months, it makes sense that they are ready to come out. But this is probably about as painful as when she starts school-such a sign of growing up! I want to cry just thinking about it. She's only five and I already feel like I'm missing out, just because I don't play with her everyday. Oh, to be able to manipulate time and get more of it, to slow her down(which isn't going to happen, she's too much like me) Sorry, no pictures, I haven't been able to get Lex's mouth open enough for one, and Eliz refuses to let me photograph her mouth. So, I'm off to cry in a corner. No, wait, I can't. I have to empty my sewing room so that my dad can put in my new floors. Oh, Father God, help me, I have an hour! Well, so much for feeling sorry for myself about my children growing up!

Weaning Woes

Lex is now a few short days away from being 11 months old. My beautiful little blessing from God, our wonderful surprise baby, is that old already! He got his first tooth this week, and has bitten me with it twice so far. I considered having him quit nursing cold turkey in those moments. Eliz weaned herself at ten months.

10 months almost to the day, I tried to get her to nurse, and she covered my breast with both hands and looked at me like I was crazy. So, weaning isn't something I've had to go through, or at least initiate. I hadn't even thought about it, until maybe two weeks ago. I was nursing Lex, and I thought of how big , well, long, he's gotten, and it sort of came to me suddenly, he's 10 and a half months old and he's still nursing about 5 times a day! Do I really want that?

With Eliz, I had always said I would nurse her for as long as she wanted, up to 2 years old. But, well, with two, it's hard to justify going that long-especially when I know that I want to have another one very, very soon. (Don't worry, Bry-D has resigned himself to the fact that he won't be able to make me wait 5 years for the next one.) How I love nursing my children, the quiet tenderness of it, the bond and connection it gives, oh, what a blessing to feed your child! But, Lex is proving an "opinionated" child; I'm sure he would nurse until age 3 or 4, if I would let him. But that isn't going to happen, not a chance. So, I've got to start pumping my milk, and just suck it up(hhmm, didn't intend for it to sound like that..) and force him to drink from a cup. It didn't go so well today, he guzzled his first drink, then spilled the rest and cried.

On the EC front, things were going well, but EC, along with cooking and going to the grocery store, went out the window the first week Bry-D was home with his injury. I had noticed that on the days Lex tried a new food, his BM's were totally unpredictable. He's real quiet about signalling, so I did it more on a schedule, which meant I caught probably 80-90% of potty and BM's. I'm so off that schedule, and sometimes I don't realise he's signaled until he's given up and gone in his diaper. Poor guy, he must be getting confused.

I'm sure this is all hard on Eliz as well, but she's most definitely been a trooper. I'm praying for next week, getting back into our "normal" routine. If that's going to happen, I need to get in bed! G'night!

Am I really 32?

Today is my birthday. And with everything that's been going on, I really haven't thought about it. So it was strange to hear a message from my parents this morning singing Happy Birthday. Eliz was like, when is your party? It was hard to explain to her that Mommy wasn't going to have a party. Moments like those are the ones that tempt me to feel sorry for myself, and want what my pastor calls a "circumstance upgrade". I realised on Sunday that today was my birthday, and that all I woudl be getting was a few Happy Birthdays, and I knew I had to get through the selfishness then. I really don't have the time or the energy for it. The conclusion I came to was that, if you think about it, birthdays are only considered important because the world tells us they are. for awhile, people didn't know when they were born, or really how old they were-just that they were born in spring or winter. So, even though I'd like some kind of big to-do, the reality is that it's just not possible, and really, if I want to be unconventional, and go against the mainstream, I'll just decide that it doesn't matter, it's a commercial holiday. That doesn't mean I haven't found something I'd like to recieve as a birthday present.

Why I haven't been blogging

For the last month, things have been rough. In every area of life, things have been difficult. Much of what happened was beyond my control, in general was not caused by me, which made it even more frustrating. Whenever I would compose a post, it sounded really whiny and like a big woe's me pity party. And if I can't stand to hear myself think it, who's going to want to read it? And why would I put other people through that? So, I just didn't write. I don't know that life has gotten easier or better, but I think I've gained some perspective. There is one thing that's happened that I have to tell you about. It's sort of painful and funny. Well, probably more painful that funny. Anyways, last Tuesday morning Bry-D called. His voice was shaky, and it sounded like he was holding his breath. He wanted me to know he had gotten hurt and was going to Med Check, the place his boss had told him to go to, since it was a work site injury. When he tried to tell me what had happened, I didn't have it quite right, but it was close. I thought he had fallen through a hole, his entire body going down, and landing on a beam or something-on his crotch-but that wasn't quite the case. He called later, he had a "laceration" and was being sent to the ER for stitches. Now, from the time he and I hung up the first time until he called to say he was headed to the ER, I had been in and out of consciousness. I don't mean I kept fainting, I mean it was like the lights were on and sometimes someone was home, sometimes not. While I was concious, I called a few people, found someone to take the kids, and was able to meet him at the ER. I got there about five minutes after he had gotten into a room. I'm not going to give any more details. He ended up with 7 stitches, and the story of how he actually got hurt is this-

He was working(for those of you who don't know, Bry-D is a phone man)in an older warehouse, and had gone in and out of well-lit room a couple of times(the rest of the building was really dim)there was a metal cover on the floor of this well-lit room. When he was leaving the well-lit room, he was taking a step with his left foot, stepped on the cover, it flipped up, his left leg went into the hole, and his right leg stayed at ground level. To put it simply, he did the splits into a hole. The lid was in there somewhere, and that's what cut him and why he has stitches. He pulled most of the muscles in his groin. Yeah, ouch!

For the first 2-3 days, he couldn't walk, get dressed on his own, and finding a comfortable position of any type was impossible. He told me the other day, he understands why they call those "core muscles" you can't do anything without them. He's not into being drugged, so he's just been taking the maximum allowable amount of OTC painkillers. For my part, in the beginning, I was just thankful it hadn't been worse. What if he had stepped in that spot with his right foot? Or fallen backwards? Yes, I feel very blessed that it wasn't any worse, because it certainly could have been.
Now, I realise just how much I depend on him. He can't lift, well, anything, he still can't really walk, let alone move fast, so I'm on my own. It's like he's here but not. And in the mornings and evenings, when I'm used to have him around, are so hard. We normally divide and conquer, but now it's all on me, and I have to say, it's some hard work. I always admired single parents, but I have a newfound respect for them, and the fact that their children have clean clothes is amazing. He'll be getting up soon, so I'm going to get off here. The two comfortable places in the house-the bed and his computer chair. He has, for the most part, had a good additude, though I know he's frustrated that he can't hold Lex, or get his own glass of tea. I think he had always thought that having someone wait on him hand and foot would be fun, not frustrating. Hm, be careful what you wish for!

I'm here, I promise, I didn't leave!

Though I've considered it very seriously. I was working very hard to be ready for 2 craft shows in November, and I had several obstacles to overcome. Enough that I began to think that maybe I wasn't supposed to be going to the craft shows. I got some pretty clear guidance from God, though. I'm not going to give you the long list of what all happened; I'll just tell you about the end of the first show. It was 2 days and we found out fairly fast that things weren't going well. No-one around us was selling, and neither were we. On the second day, I went and sat in the car and started talking to God. There was about an hour and a half left to closing, and I hadn't even covered my booth payment yet. I started the conversation feeling sorry for myself. I told Him that I thought I knew His voice better, that I thought I knew when He was saying no, but I must have been wrong. I moved on to being angry, at myself, at Him, and just plain old angry. Then I came to myself again, and put it simply.

"God, you know my husband. If I don't at least cover my expenses, he's not going to let me do this. If You want me to do next week's craft show, or at least make an effort for it, and then follow it with opening a store on Etsy, I have to cover all my expenses, at the very least. So, if You want me to continue in this direction, You have to make sure I cover my expenses. I'm not giving you a fleece, I'm just saying it how it is." Because I was a little emotional, I was a bit more wordy about it, but I felt much more at peace afterwards, and I made the decision, if I don't cover my expenses here, I'm not doing anything for next week other than showing up. I went back inside and told my mom. It wasn't really what she wanted to hear, but she couldn't argue-she knows my frugal husband too. If I came home and told him I hadn't made up what I'd spent, he'd lose it-not only had I not made money, I had lost money. So, I waited. In the last hour, (Ever noticed how He does that?)A woman walked up and ordered a tent. That, in addition to what I had sold the night before, covered my booth, hotel, and food. Just enough. All Mom said was"I guess you'll be sewing this week!" She was rather smug. At the second show Mom did great, I did okay. If you add up the expense for both shows, and what I made, I covered my expenses, with a little left over. And now, my mom, my sister and I are going to another one this weekend. Yeesh. The second show turned out to be great marketing as a lot of people took my business cards because of the tent. Which brings me to the big announcement-

Lee & Loren at Etsy is now OPEN!! Yay! I have more news, but it will have to wait. Hope you enjoyed the miscellaneous pictures, that's a general pictorial-what-I've-been-up-to.