Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Am I really 32?

Today is my birthday. And with everything that's been going on, I really haven't thought about it. So it was strange to hear a message from my parents this morning singing Happy Birthday. Eliz was like, when is your party? It was hard to explain to her that Mommy wasn't going to have a party. Moments like those are the ones that tempt me to feel sorry for myself, and want what my pastor calls a "circumstance upgrade". I realised on Sunday that today was my birthday, and that all I woudl be getting was a few Happy Birthdays, and I knew I had to get through the selfishness then. I really don't have the time or the energy for it. The conclusion I came to was that, if you think about it, birthdays are only considered important because the world tells us they are. for awhile, people didn't know when they were born, or really how old they were-just that they were born in spring or winter. So, even though I'd like some kind of big to-do, the reality is that it's just not possible, and really, if I want to be unconventional, and go against the mainstream, I'll just decide that it doesn't matter, it's a commercial holiday. That doesn't mean I haven't found something I'd like to recieve as a birthday present.

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