About that whole expressing my opinion

...okay, I'll go through with it.

I've been thinking about something a friend of mine said a couple of weeks ago.  She's a Christian Homeschooler and lives not far from us.  Her oldest two are the same age as Eliz, so we get together about once a week.  While talking about school, and what we wanted our kids to learn, she said that she told her girls,

   "They should know I would consider myself a failure as a mom if they..." 

The specifics aren't important, because what bothers me is that statement.  I don't know about you, but I have a hard time living up to my own expectations for myself, so I can't imagine how to deal with my mother putting that kind of burden on me.  I just don't understand how saying that to your children is okay.  It seems like setting them up for certain failure.  I remember reading either in a book or an article, a psychologist assesses a woman that said when her daughter was seconds old, the way the nurse was holding her, the mother thought she was a boy, that the nurse's finger looked like a penis, and she(the mother) screamed in horror. The Psychologist said that it was terrible to already have that much expectation placed on an infant, no person could ever live up to that high standard. 


When my friend said it, I was so shocked I just sort of looked at her.  It must have shown, because the next thing she said was,
   "Don't you agree?"  The only thing I could get out was,
   "I don't try to plan my children's futures, I don't know what will happen."  Which is beyond true.  I don't know what God will plan in Eliz & Lex's life, or our lives as a family - there are so many variables I can't even fathom.  I'm not against expectations for your children, I'm talking about extremes.   It's selfish to make your children responsible for your happiness, for your "success" in life.  Giving your children the impression, "You will ruin my life if you don't succeed in exactly the way I tell you too!"  must be the most selfish parenting I've ever heard of.  I can think of other times I've encountered this, in movies, reading in articles(Tiger Mom) and now, in real life.  I can feel the oppressive weight on these poor abused children - and that's what it is - taking their freedom of choice away from them.  Freedom of choice is something that not even God, the One that created us, will mess with.  Our ability to choose is what constantly gets us burned, and yet, our Loving Father allows us to do it, because He knows it's best to let us find our own way.  Which is why I'm so amazed to have heard this statement.  I guess it just seemed so wrong that I didn't think I would ever hear it from someone I knew.  It seems the worst thing to do - if free will is something that the Almighty God of the universe, the Alpha and Omega, Lord of Heaven's Armies refuses to manipulate, how can we, such finite beings, be so arrogant as to manipulate it in other people?  Pushing your desires, dreams, needs and wants onto a child takes away their opportunites to discover what they desire, dream, and need.  They aren't you, and so it's unreasonable and cruel to expect them to be exactly whom you want them to be.  They may have your DNA, but you only have them because God deemed it so.  Children are a gift, not of clay, to be molded into the image you have, but living creatures to love and guide until they are strong enough to go on their own.
 
  I did go back to my friends house another day, and when she said it again, (and yes, she did again ask for my agreement) I politely stated that since I didn't know what the future holds, I would never place expectations on my children as to how they will live their lives.  I hadn't articulated my feelings very thoroughly yet, which I think now to be a good thing.  I may have gotten a little rude and accusatory if I had worked through them to this point. 

Because of all this, Bry-D and I have come to the conclusion that we really want to train our children to seek and follow God in all their decisions. I feel that the only security is in knowing they are pursueing GOd and His will.  In all honesty, I'd like the most difficult and painful thing that ever happens to them be that their beloved pet dies, and from that they are able to become a person with deep, strong faith in Jesus.  I'm not so sure that's how it will work out, but a Mom can dream, can't she?

Answering March Madness Challenge Questions

I'm glad people are asking questions, because I don't want you to think this is really rigid. 

To answer the #1 most asked Question-

Yes, absolutely, you can focus on one single, BIG change.  Let's say you want to turn this-

Into This-

Have at it, honey, and enjoy it!  Break it into simple tasks, pin the goal picture for each day and in the notes, put what single small thing you're going to do to.  You don't have to pin something that shows exactly what you're going to do for it, like buy paint or empty a drawer. 

The 2nd most asked Question-  I choose doing something each day because I'd like to be able to say I did 15 things from Pinterest in one month.  It's called March Madness because it is crazy to try and do something from Pinterest each day.  I'm someone that thinks you should

   Shoot for the Stars, don't worry if you miss, you'll land on the Moon!

No one is going to be hovering around saying, you didn't finish today!  

If it seems overwhelming, but you're interested, pick things you normally do, just do something different with it.  Wear that scarf you love, but never put on.  Always wear your hair up?   Try it down.  In an exercise rut, do a new workout.  Take the scenic route to work - just leave early.  always wanted to try coupons - try it!

Think of it as small changes to what you already do everyday, you're just planning them in advance, and letting other people in on the excitement.  I'm still working on the button for the Facebook page, which I plan on using to post updates on how I'm doing (or not) and if I feel particularly proud of myself, a picture.  Do the same, let's encourage each other and talk as we challenge ourselves to being radically different for 31 days.

Pinterest March Madness Challenge!

I really hope you join me! Because I'm excited to do this. The Pinterest March Madness Challenge is to do one thing from Pinterest each day for the month of March. 31 days. 31 projects. That's the goal.
I know, you're saying,
  "What?! How? That's crazy impossible!"
PLEASE, DON'T STOP THERE! Keep reading, this is actually doable! I've come up with some rules and guidelines. After you read them, you'll see why this is doable. Also, to answer the other Frequently Asked Question, no I don't have a great prize for the person that does the most. You're just going to have a lot of finished projects, and hopefully(since it's my main objective) the motivation to continue doing Pinterest-inspired projects.  I'm not one of those Bloggers that has Sponsors and people begging me to talk about their stuff, though sometimes, it would be cool. 

Rules-
1.  Keep the projects SIMPLE! 
2.  Has to be things that can be done in one day. 
3.  If you miss a day, you pick up with the next day.  No starting over, going back, just keep moving forward, no matter what happens!
4.  You can do cumulative projects- paint the bathroom on day #1, hang the new shelves in the bathroom on Day #2, though that isn't quite the idea I had. 

Guidelines-
 Here are the categories for you to use. 

House- decor, fix-up
Adventure- do something that scares you
Hair & Beauty- an excuse to wear sparkly makeup!
Inspiring or Spiritual- for others or yourself
Food- new recipes!
Activity- with kids, with your friends, your spouse, or by yourself!
Crafty- DIY, paint, sculpt, sew, photograph, whatever, just do something that requires thinking outside the box!

Pick a day of the week for each category. If these categories don't work for you, make your own.  What if you have something that would fit into multiple places?  Let's say you're thinking of getting a  tattoo-could be Activity, could be Adventure.  If you already have a tattoo then I'd say Activity.  If you've always wanted one, but never done it, then Adventure. 


Check the Pinterest board(the link is below) to see my Pins for the first week-those are what I mean by simple-I already have everything I need for them.  They won't take more than a few minutes, let alone hours.  As the month progresses, however, I'm going to work towards more difficult tasks.  They will still be things that can be done in a day, but I'm already eyeing a few things I've really wanted to do, and just haven't.


The nitty-gritty of how it works:  I've created a board on Pinterest called March Madness Challenge.   I've already pinned what I'm doing for the first week- in the notes for each pin I've put the day(Day #1, Day #2, etc)that I'm doing it.  To be able to put your pins on there so we know what everyone is planning on doing, you have to leave a comment or send me an email with your user name for Pinterest, and within 24 hours I'll add you as a contributor.  Once that happens, you can start repinning what you'll be doing.  I'm only going to plan a week at time, to keep it from being overwhelming.  Then, on March 1st, we'll all start our once a day projects, and keep it up until March 31st.  At that point we can all sit back and bask in the glow of our hard work. 

I've also made a Facebook page for posting progress pictures, updates, and discussion.  I'm working on figuring out how to add buttons and the like on here, which will make it much easier to find everything.  My head feels close to exploding from the effort, so I'm going to take a few days off from that part and come back refreshed.  Anyone that knows how to do that stuff and either wants to do it for me, or explain it me, please, for the love of my sanity, help a girl out!

How to have the best zoo experience.

Don't take your camera. That's it. It really is that simple. Halfway through our really great Thursday

trip to the Indianapolis Zoo, I remembered I had my phone, so that's when I started getting pictures. 

The cheetahs were typical cats, they refused to acknowledge our existence.

 This lioness was watching the elephants very intently when we walked up. Then she noticed lunch - aka Eliz - standing right in front of her. Seriously, that's the look she had when she was studying the elephants, then she stared at Eliz with it.

   This picture wasn't zoomed in-that's how close she was.  I really didn't feel very secure with the wire and a few feet separating us.  There's something to be said for big thick walls or even better, a TV!  She followed us around from one observation area to another, then she started roaring as she walked away.  I got a video of it, the kids keep asking to listening to it, though I get chills every time. 

Here's the big guy.  He was nice enough to look our way once or twice, but he seemed to be intent on napping.

 This Baboon was intrigued by TaterTot.  He followed her along the fence, imitating her. If she sat, he sat, if she walked, he followed.  I told her he knew she was a monkey, and he wanted to adopt her.  She was agreeable to it.

 Most zoo's give you this view of tigers.  'Oh, look at all the details, wow, that's a big cat.'  The Indianapolis Zoo's Tiger Exhibit is called "How close is to close?"  I'll tell you, for me personally,

 This is too close.  Again the security factor was completely lacking.  These cats are big and intimidating even, if they aren't interested in eating you.  Eliz's face when she turned around and saw that tiger sniffing her, was both hilarious and upsetting.

You hardly ever see the otters, but they were out, climbing, running and jumping.  They were also loud, which made me think that maybe it was feeding time.

 If I'm not mistaken, those are crocuses.  And when I see crocus peeping it's head out, or in full bloom, I know it's Spring.  So forget what Punxsutawney Phil said- according to these silly flowers, it's spring!  Everybody, break out your shorts and flip-flops!

 The front part of the Zoo is under construction, so we just had to stop and watch the machines work!

None of the kids fell asleep on the way home, which is kind of what I was hoping for.  What I'd really like is my own driver, so I can nap on the way home.  They did really well-it was the first time I didn't have a stroller for Lex, and the Zoo puts theirs away during the winter.  Someone asked me which animals wanted Lex, but I think he ran around too much, the animals wanted the kids that would be easier to catch.  Eliz surprised my by how well she took being seen as a potential meal.  She said, "They are carnivores Mama, and people are meat, so of course they would want to eat us.  Just like dinosaurs." 

Oh, my, how silly of me!

Don't forget, tomorrow I'll be posting details of the March Madness Pinterest Challenge!

Yeah, I totally judged him for this!

He says it's my fault; I forgot to get dog food, so while he was out getting dog food, he got this game.  What-EVER!  

We talked about getting this game, and agreed that it wasn't necessary.  I guess he changed his mind.

 He pointed out that it comes with a wheel to steer with, because that justifies everything!

Eliz liked it b/c it had a sheet of stickers you could use to decorate the wheel with.  I'm still on a quest for a toy I want that everyone else will enjoy.  Let me know if you think of anything!

Since her Daddy can't braid hair...

He did this.  A very creative ponytail.  Where was I?  I was on a date with my mom.  In December my mom asked if we could start getting together once a month, just the two of us, for dinner.

It's sort of a goal for this year.  All my sisters have a monthly Mommy Daughter date night.  My Mom and I have set aside the first Thursday of each month, and I don't know what my sisters and my Mom do, but so far, we've sat and ate and talked.  Which is my idea of a great time.

Speaking of goals, last year my goal for this blog was to post 8 times a month.  I checked, and I came very close to that, which is cool.  I have 2 goals for this year, the first is to go deeper.  Be more vulnerable, more open, share my opinion on things that aren't frivolous.  I'll be honest, that thought terrifies me.  Most people see the Internet as an anonymous way to express themselves; I don't. 


My other goal is to follow through with some of the great ideas I get.  I'll have an idea, toss it around in my head, mention it in passing to someone who will agree it's a good idea.  Then, I never do anything with it.  And so, on Monday, February 20, I'll be announcing a March Madness Pinterest Challenge.  The idea behind it is not to pin more stuff, but to jump start actually doing some of the things we're all pinning and dreaming about.  And so, with that, I'm going to go cower in a corner and rock myself into oblivion!

New Shoes

First off, my extended absence from here was not intentional-if it had been, I would have told you I wouldn't be posting.  The main reason was a lack of energy, due to a poorly functioning thyroid.  I've been on Synthroid for 2 months now, and it's made a massive difference.  The other reason is that I've been focusing solely on school since my energy returned, and have pushed everything not related to school to the back burner.  However, I've missed being here, and using the Internet as my journal, and a way to let far-off family know what we've been doing.  Not that we're incredibly exciting, but it's more than you'd get from Twitter or Facebook.  Moving on!

My kids grew.  Alot.  In a week.  Not kidding, stuff either fit just fine or it was too big.  Then I'm trying to button Lex's pants, and he says, "Mama, stop, that hurts."  They were adjustable pants, so I adjusted them.  And adjusted them.  Then I realised that the lil' booger had outgrown 2T and was in 3T.  He had a pair of shoes that were 7 1/2, and a pair that were 7's.  That's it, none of his other shoes fit, none of his clothes.  Then Eliz has the nerve to show me how her pants keep leaving groove marks, then how the hem doesn't even touch the top of her shoes!  How dare she!  Here's the deal, the way we shop for new clothes in this house by getting into the attic and bringing down a tub of hand-me-down clothes.  I've posted about this before.  Yes, this is a wonderful blessing not many people experience.  Usually, there are shoes as well, or we run over to the second hand store and buy from there.  That's my rule for Lex, since he outgrows them so fast.  With this growth spurt, I realised I was going to have to go shoe shopping; I wanted something specific for the both of them, and more than likely, I wasn't going to find it second hand.  I wanted shoes that could be worn with socks, but would work in warmer weather, since it's been so warm, and is supposed to stay warm.  I also wanted easy on and off, i.e. slip-ons.  We did try second-hand, and we also went to several stores-just ask Eliz, she'll tell you-we SHOPPED for shoes.  Once I realised I was going to have to get *new* shoes, I just bought them the shoes I had been trying to find cheaper versions of-TOMS.

Lex _loves_ these shoes.  I showed him a pair of shoes with Marvel Comic characters, and he still choose the plain grey TOMS.  Once he had them on, he ran and danced around, quite pleased with them.  Eliz originally choose the red sparkly pair, but I explained she needed to start with a pair that could get dirty.  The price is reasonable for new kids shoes($30 for Lex & $40 for Eliz), and the whole One for One makes it even more reasonable.  When we got to the store, I told the shoe girl what I was looking for, she grabbed a few shoes and said, "And TOMS are really great."  I've wanted a pair for myself for awhile, it's just, well I'm a consignment girl, I like the really nice quality without the high price.  So spending $50-$70 on shoes is...hard.  However, I see these shoes as opening the door for

Bry-D and I both to get a pair.