She believed she could, so she did

Eliz & Treasure's first barrel run

 They had walked and trotted the pattern several times, both were familiar with it, Treasure more so than Eliz. This was evident by the way that Eliz kept trying to turn the wrong direction on the last barrel. It was almost comical watching Treasure fight with her to go the correct way and then giving in to Her Little Human(that's what Eliz has decided Treasure calls her), knowing it wasn't right. It was just after midnight when they did their run; Eliz was exhausted after a week of riding hard. She seemed so tired I broke my rules and gave her a Mt. Dew just before her turn. The thing most concerning to Eliz going into the arena was that Treasure was obviously ready to run hard and fast; she had been occasionally breaking into a canter from a trot without Lizzie telling her to. Earlier in the night, she galloped.  Eliz knew she couldn't handle Treasure's jets. My advice was to do her best to trust Treasure, & hold the horn of the saddle if she had to. They went into the ring, Eliz obviously nervous, and Treasure ready to go. They did the first barrel, and then Treasure started to canter on the second barrel, and they went too wide and crossed the timer again. 

 

At this point the run was officially over, but they finished the pattern, Eliz trying to keep Treasure slowed down. When they finished, Treasure began to run large circles. Eliz told me she was “Holding the horn for dear life and thinking, 'I need to stop her!'”

 

Treasure came up to the fence and started a sharp turn, however, Eliz didn't turn.  Eliz came off the front of Treasure and landed, quite literally, at her Aunt's feet. 

By The Teacher's recounting, Eliz had a big smile on her face while on the ground, and as The Teacher tried to grab Treasure's reins, Eliz jumped up smiling and said,

  “I'm fine!” and took Treasure's reins.

As soon as Eliz came off, Treasure came to a stop, and looked at Eliz if to say,     

   “What are you doing on the ground? You're supposed to be up here with me!”

Of course, everyone watching had gotten quiet and was watching to see if Eliz was okay. I had started to run out, and when Eliz jumped up, Vaughn(we board our horse at their ranch) told me to calm down, she was fine. The announcer said over the loud speaker,

   “Way to cowgirl up.”. People all around were clapping as Eliz started to walk Treasure out, but then Vaughn started hollering,

   “Get on that horse! You're not walking, you're riding her out!” Once Eliz heard Vaughn, she stopped and started to try to throw Treasure's reins over her neck. As she was struggling, Vaughn walked into the arena saying,

  “I'm comin'.” But Eliz got them on before he reached her, and so he paused and watched.  Then Eliz put her knee into her stirrup, pulled herself into her saddle, and rode out of the arena to all around applause and whoops of congratulations. 

People were saying, “That's a lot of horse for that girl” and “That horse has a motor!” Since Eliz hasn't been ready to really run, we'd never seen Treasure go all out, and I don't think we have yet. As much as Treasure loves Eliz, I think she still held back, even though she probably wanted to run into the moonlight.

 Eliz is young enough that even though she knows something great happened in those few minutes, she doesn't understand how much meaning there is in the experience. People came up and told her good job, and she had to give out high fives-well, low fives for her on the horse, high fives for those on the ground- to people. So she knows other people think she did something extraordinary. 

 

I told her that people were more proud of her for getting back on than they would ever be of her running a good time; that even if she had run barrels in 10 seconds, people would always be more proud that she got up on her horse-especially by herself.

While we untacked Treasure I asked her how it felt to come off her horse like that. Her response?

“Kind of awesome.” Once we were in the car and on the way home, we talked about what had happened. She asked me,

“Mama, why do I feel so amazing?!” I explained to her all the possible negative ways a person could respond to coming off their horse, and that she hadn't done any of those things. I tried to help her understand that getting back on after a fall like that was something that some adults wouldn't do, so being 9, her first time ever coming off this horse at her first barrel race with a horse she's only been riding a few months, was a very big deal. Some people would have said, 'Never again. I won't ever ride again.'  She told me,

“She's my gift from God, I have to treat her like the gift she is. I have to learn her heartbeat, and the motor in her legs. So we can go fast together, because that's what she wants. That's what I want us to do together.” Can I just say, I have never wanted to pull over and squeeze my daughter while sobbing tears of joy and pride more in my life.

She fell asleep for the rest of the ride home, leaving me to consider the events of the evening. My little girl has proven that she's meant to be on a horse. She's a cowgirl, through and through. Her recently deceased Great-Grandmother would have been proud of her determination and adventurous spirit.  That's the Grandma that wanted to drive her son's racecar, mind you.

 There was also Treasure to consider. She didn't do anything wrong, just ran fast. The moment Eliz came off, she stopped. She didn't move, stamp her feet or toss her head. She waited for Eliz, and never gave any sign that she was going anywhere without her. She stood still while Eliz climbed her way back on and walked out and went straight to her stall. I've always known that Treasure loved Eliz & vise versa, but I think I saw the beginning of a beautiful partnership. Some of that definitely comes from Treasure having had a wonderful previous owner, and I will always be grateful for that. My Dad and I were talking about it, and he made the observation,

“Treasure and her the girl that owned her obviously had a great relationship. They probably got to run full speed down a dirt road, and in a field, and she wants to do that with Eliz. She remembers and wants to do it again.” So now we have to find a dirt road in Indiana. Shouldn't have a problem with the field, though.

 And here is the sad part of this story. Bry-D and Lex weren't there. At midnight, Bry-D & I put Lex into Bry-D's truck, because Bry-D had to work first thing in the morning, and Lex needed to sleep. Oh. My. That boy needed a good night's rest. So five or so minutes after they drove out of the Fairgrounds, I had to call and tell him about his daughter's amazing feat. He was, of course, very upset. He exclaimed,

“I missed that?!” I can't rewind time & give him the joy of seeing his daughter prove herself a cowgirl, but maybe writing it for both of them to go back to will help.  Just as getting Treasure is a reminder that God answers prayer, getting back into the saddle will be a reminder that Eliz can do whatever she decides to do.

Birthday gift for Eliz

Bry-D and I have a rule in our parenting, if the kids ask for something that we really wanted when we were kids, we do whatever we can to make it happen.  They don't ask for much, and technically, Eliz didn't specifically ask for this.  In fact, she was so jazzed about her up coming party, she said she didn't really care what she got.  But when Daddy came home form work with her gift, he got the jitters

 And the giggles.  We made her wait, and wait, and wait.  Because we like torture in our house.

 Since he doesn't know how to keep a secret, Lex had to wait, and wait, and wait too!

 A new bike!  And this is where that parenting rule comes in.  Bry-D always wanted a Mongoose bike, but his parents couldn't afford it.  So, we picked one out for Eliz.

 Black and pink with the trick bars on the front and the back.

 Haha, that's going to be for her brother!

 It was a success, she loved it.

 Dad thought it was a success too.  Think he was kind of proud of himself, too.

 Man, on her old bike she seemed huge, and on this one she seems kind of small.

 I forgot to tell you we got Lex a new bike at the MotoGP Family weekend.  They had a Promo area for these bikes by Stryder, they are pedal-less bikes.  The hard part of learning to ride is the balance part, not the pedalling.  So these bikes are made for the kids to learn to balance themselves on.

 Pretty cool, huh?  There are lots of accessories, I'm holding myself back from buying colored wheels.  This bike came with Monster Truck stickers.  Lex loves Monster Trucks, his favorite is The Avenger.

 Bry-D just couldn't help himself.  He took her bike for a spin.

 Then he showed her how to use the bars to trail someone.

 She liked it this way better. 

 Bry-D and Lex had a race.

 I could barely watch as Bryan had her practice trailing Lex.  I really don't know what the reasoning is behind this.  Crazy boy.

 And that's what we've been doing lately, riding bikes.

 And learning dare devilish tricks.

The invites!

I will admit, I had an obnoxiously good time making these.  Eliz and I got this idea from Pinterest, of course!  Since we didn't have to mail any of the invites, half of them could be handed out at church, and the other half I knew we would be seeing in the next couple of days, we went with kind of large boxes.  Remeber the things I made?  Well, you only saw half of them, and I was in too a big hurry to get them finished and delivered to take pictures before I did the next step.  The next step was to wrap each item in fuzzy yarn with a  'Pull Me' tag on the very end.

Then I made orgiami boxes from heavy weight scrapbook paper.  I got a big package of paper using a coupon at Jo-Ann's.

I printed the invites myself, since nothing looked the way we wanted it to.  I cut them so one piece was shorter than the other.

 I had fun picking quotes to use with them, I won't lie.  Of all the DIY I did for this party, the printing the invites was the most stressful and time consuming.  I'm getting a headache remembering it!

 But I love, love, love how these turned out!  I made sure the colors for the invites were all different and when I put the invites in the boxes, I again made sure they were different colors.  You can see them, kind of, in the next picture in the top of the boxes.

Pretty little boxes all in a row

And tied with a ribbon.

 

Making things a little clearer

Bry-D and I both wear glasses.  He has a small need for corrective eyewear, and I've been nearly blind since 6th grade.  So it's not surprising that Eliz need glasses.  But it was kind of a Mom Fail on my part.  She had her eyes examined for the first time last year, and they said she would eventually need glasses, but it shouldn't be a problem for another year or so.  As we went through the school year, she would constantly complain that it hurt to read.  Instead of thinking that maybe it was her eyesight giving her a headache, I decided she was making excuses.  And so we battled over reading. 

But I started to notice that she would read all sorts of big signs on the street and billboards, ask questions and seem to enjoy being able to tell what store we were in front of.  And it sort of clicked that she only read large letters by choice, and would sit and "look" at books, but not really read them.  Our insurance didn't cover a second exam, and if she did need glasses, it wouldn't cover them b/c of some crazy insurance thing.  So we waited, and I tried to be easier on her about reading.  She isn't nearsighted or farsighted, as it turns out, one eye is slightly nearsighted, and the other is slightly farsighted, so she has trouble focusing on small lettering.  Which explains why she said it hurt to read. I'm not sure how much I'll have to remind her to use them - they're new and exciting right now, but once that wears off, how often will I have to ask, 'Where are your glasses?'

I don't know why I'm surprised

Really, I can't let that man out of the house.  He took Eliz on their second date(she started begging for him to take her to dinner on Monday) and called an hour in to ask what I thought about buying a kit or all the stuff separately for the Beta fish he was buying her. 

**Eye Roll**

No, I don't really care, he's just, well, a goob.



 Eliz has decided that it's a girl fish, even though we've told her several times that it's a boy, and *her* name is Shiny.

 Bry-D pointed out that it could be used as a nightlight - like that makes it all fine and dandy.  When I asked him how this happened, he just looked guilty and said "I don't know."  Wuss.  Kay, fine, I'll admit - I'm upset that he has, yet again, found something cool for the whole family to enjoy.  Bry-D - 4ish, Me- Big, round 0.

Well, I guess this is a step in the direction of spoiling her - how many boys are going to buy her a pet on the second date?  See, I thought Lex and I were being extravagant by getting Taco Bell AND Cupcakes.  'Parently not.  So, now we have to train Lex to never, ever, ever, never TOUCH THE TANK!  If you need me, I'll be banging my hand against a wall.

His favorite thing

Since he was a wee babe, has been anything with wheels.

 Okay, so I may have influenced him a bit...

 But really, he's only ever shown real interest in things that have wheels.

 Other than mud.  Mud is his second favorite thing, and you can combine mud with wheels, and that's just the best ever.

 I don't think he's gender predisposed, I think he's genetically predisposed to loving things that go.

 I mean, his father and grandfather both have a "thing" for oil, metal and tires.

 And why shouldn't he love them?  After all, this stuff is lots fun.

 I've come to the conclusion that had he been born before the invention of the wheel, he's the guy that would have figured it out.

Just from the simple, desparate need to have something that goes.

Tights are not pants, girls!

No other explanation needed!

About that whole expressing my opinion

...okay, I'll go through with it.

I've been thinking about something a friend of mine said a couple of weeks ago.  She's a Christian Homeschooler and lives not far from us.  Her oldest two are the same age as Eliz, so we get together about once a week.  While talking about school, and what we wanted our kids to learn, she said that she told her girls,

   "They should know I would consider myself a failure as a mom if they..." 

The specifics aren't important, because what bothers me is that statement.  I don't know about you, but I have a hard time living up to my own expectations for myself, so I can't imagine how to deal with my mother putting that kind of burden on me.  I just don't understand how saying that to your children is okay.  It seems like setting them up for certain failure.  I remember reading either in a book or an article, a psychologist assesses a woman that said when her daughter was seconds old, the way the nurse was holding her, the mother thought she was a boy, that the nurse's finger looked like a penis, and she(the mother) screamed in horror. The Psychologist said that it was terrible to already have that much expectation placed on an infant, no person could ever live up to that high standard. 


When my friend said it, I was so shocked I just sort of looked at her.  It must have shown, because the next thing she said was,
   "Don't you agree?"  The only thing I could get out was,
   "I don't try to plan my children's futures, I don't know what will happen."  Which is beyond true.  I don't know what God will plan in Eliz & Lex's life, or our lives as a family - there are so many variables I can't even fathom.  I'm not against expectations for your children, I'm talking about extremes.   It's selfish to make your children responsible for your happiness, for your "success" in life.  Giving your children the impression, "You will ruin my life if you don't succeed in exactly the way I tell you too!"  must be the most selfish parenting I've ever heard of.  I can think of other times I've encountered this, in movies, reading in articles(Tiger Mom) and now, in real life.  I can feel the oppressive weight on these poor abused children - and that's what it is - taking their freedom of choice away from them.  Freedom of choice is something that not even God, the One that created us, will mess with.  Our ability to choose is what constantly gets us burned, and yet, our Loving Father allows us to do it, because He knows it's best to let us find our own way.  Which is why I'm so amazed to have heard this statement.  I guess it just seemed so wrong that I didn't think I would ever hear it from someone I knew.  It seems the worst thing to do - if free will is something that the Almighty God of the universe, the Alpha and Omega, Lord of Heaven's Armies refuses to manipulate, how can we, such finite beings, be so arrogant as to manipulate it in other people?  Pushing your desires, dreams, needs and wants onto a child takes away their opportunites to discover what they desire, dream, and need.  They aren't you, and so it's unreasonable and cruel to expect them to be exactly whom you want them to be.  They may have your DNA, but you only have them because God deemed it so.  Children are a gift, not of clay, to be molded into the image you have, but living creatures to love and guide until they are strong enough to go on their own.
 
  I did go back to my friends house another day, and when she said it again, (and yes, she did again ask for my agreement) I politely stated that since I didn't know what the future holds, I would never place expectations on my children as to how they will live their lives.  I hadn't articulated my feelings very thoroughly yet, which I think now to be a good thing.  I may have gotten a little rude and accusatory if I had worked through them to this point. 

Because of all this, Bry-D and I have come to the conclusion that we really want to train our children to seek and follow God in all their decisions. I feel that the only security is in knowing they are pursueing GOd and His will.  In all honesty, I'd like the most difficult and painful thing that ever happens to them be that their beloved pet dies, and from that they are able to become a person with deep, strong faith in Jesus.  I'm not so sure that's how it will work out, but a Mom can dream, can't she?

Yeah, I totally judged him for this!

He says it's my fault; I forgot to get dog food, so while he was out getting dog food, he got this game.  What-EVER!  

We talked about getting this game, and agreed that it wasn't necessary.  I guess he changed his mind.

 He pointed out that it comes with a wheel to steer with, because that justifies everything!

Eliz liked it b/c it had a sheet of stickers you could use to decorate the wheel with.  I'm still on a quest for a toy I want that everyone else will enjoy.  Let me know if you think of anything!

Girl's Day Out

On Saturday I took Eliz with me to the "That Something Special" Craft Show at Southport High School.  We walked around, sat and had a drink and a snack, just spent time together.  My mom and I have a had a booth there before, but this year things didn't work out.  I've had an idea for a Christmas wreath, and wanted something that I've seen at a booth each year, which is the main reason we went.  After I made my purchase, we found a really fun booth!

You almost can't see our hair/feathers-though they are very bright!  When we got home, Bry-D seemed to think I was crazy for getting my face painted, and even more so when he heard me promise Eliz I wouldn't wash it off.  For her, I went all out trying to preserve her face paint-I sprayed her face with hairspray.  When she asked if I wanted her to spray my face, I declined.  I only use hairspray on my hair in the most dire of circumstances, so face painting wasn't  going to get me to use it.  When I got up the next morning most of my face paint was off, but Eliz's looked pretty good, so she got to wear it to church.  I did have to explain several times that she had to shower on Monday and wash it off.  The hair things are supposed to stay in for 3-6 months; Eliz is messing with hers so much I don't think it will last that long.  We'll see!