The next story

I didn't do everything perfect in our run in with CHC.  I texted Bry-D to please pray, we were having drama, and then, when he kept texting but I couldn't talk, I texted, "The police are here, it'll be over soon."  He, of course was just fine and not at all concerned by that reply. 
  Yeah, no, he wasn't.  He requested that I call him, NOW.  So I did; and I explained everything, and he lectured me on proper alerting to drama procedures, which, I guess is, DON'T.  Well, serves him right for ruining my funny story earlier.  I should have known from our years together that stirring the pot with him was a bad idea.  *sigh*

After several fun hours on the beach, which I'll share with you in the next post, we headed back to the incredibly nice and new hotel A & the Nurse found.  We got the kids cleaned up, ordered pizza, all was well. 

A little bit about me, before Bry-D and I were married, we lived in Panama City, and worked on the Beach.  We came back to Indiana to get married and stayed.

As I'm eating pizza, my phone rings.  Having lived in PCB, I knew it was a from Panama City.  So I answered, not being sure what could be going on.  The man on the phone identified himself as Officer Someone-I-don't-remember, and said this was a follow up call in case the event from earlier was taken to small claims court.  I start answering his questions, but I KNEW his voice.  I knew, I knew his voice.  But who was he?  If this was a prank call, there was only one I guy I knew that would do it, and he didn't have a southern accent.  Then, the "officer" said, "Ma'am, in my experience, people from Indiana are horrible liars."  Absolutely positive now that it was prank, and unbelievably angry that I still hadn't figured out who it was, I snapped, "Well, I'm So-rry!"  Then he chuckled, and I knew, as he said it, who it was.  "Peggy, it's Windsor."  Bry-D's brother from a different mother.  The only person not related to Bry-D that loves him as much as I do.  Long-lost Windsor.

This dude.

Yes, he was in our wedding.  Yeesh, we were skinny back in the day!

And here he is STEALING my husband(and not even a day of being my husband!) and putting him in the trunk of a car.  They drove off in a cloud of dust, and everyone says the look on my face was, 'They're coming back any minute, right?'

I'd give him a nickname like I do everyone else, but, That Crazy Guy That's Somehow Still Alive is just too long.  As I said, he was long lost, because a few years ago, they moved & we moved and no-one had the correct numbers.  Which is why I didn't know he & his family live in Panama City now, and I didn't know he & Bry-D had (finally) found each other on Facebook that morning, and had talked after I told Bry-D about CHC, which is when Bry-D asked him to "get me".  And so, my response was,

"I love you and I hate you so much right now!"  We started talking, and my sisters wanted to know what in the world was going on.  Giddy with excitement, I explained, and A, who knows Windsor from trips to Florida, was just as surprised and excited.  We met up the next day.

Like an idiot, I didn't get a picture of us together.  As Windsor said, he likes his BBQ.  And if we lived close, we'd probably like his BBQ too.  Look for pictures of a family trip to Panama City soon.

Letting go

I've been letting go of stuff.  Throwing it away, giving it to friends, donating it to good will.

 And, I've done the seasonal stuff switch; put most of the cooler weather toys away and bringing out warmer weather toys.

 But this group of things has been a struggle.  Because of what it represents.  Potty seats, ginormous diaper bag, breast pump, and other baby necessities.  Things that if you were going to have another baby, you would keep.  But we're not.  So there's no reason to keep them.

I'm back on birth control, and strike depending, Bry-D is going to get snipped sometime this year.  That's what is so painful about this part of the attic cleanup.  Bry-D doesn't want anymore children, while I desperately want more.  And it's hard to give it up.  I've always wanted lots of kids.  Always.  When we were first together he said 1, maybe 2.  I said 4, maybe 6.  I didn't even want to be on birth control, but there were health reasons for it.  And I kept asking for more kids, more kids.  And he's never budged.  If we had a more worldly view, we would have probably parted ways over it, since neither of us wanted to give in.  But we have a Christ view of things, and that means one of us had to give in.  While Bry-D wholly admits his reasons are primarily selfish, he's not cruel or mean about it.  I'm sure there are plenty reading this saying if he loved me he'd give in, while others are siding with him.  I don't blame him nor am I angry at him for having a different desire. That's like being mad he has a different favotire color, or wants a different car.  For most of our marriage, we've always wanted the same thing.  And that, too, adds to the difficulty of giving up what I want.  For weeks I prayed and prayed for guidance, what to do,

and God said, "Submit". 

Which is what it came down to - trusting Bry-D's leadership that this is the right thing, and trusting God that if it isn't, He'll take control of the situation.  Because that's what submitting really is - trusting.  Have you ever done those team building activities where you fall backwards onto the arms of the others?  You submit to them your safety - you trust them to catch you.  And so, I told Bryan I'd go back on birth control.  But it was still difficult.  All I could think of was what I wasn't going to have ever again.  And how much it aches inside.  So back to praying and praying for guidance, what do I do?

  And God said, "Be Thankful".

It makes it so much easier.  Being thankful for my extremely healthy kids.  My happy kids, my loving husband,  my home.  So, so much, so many blessings.  But it's still difficult to load these things in the car, take them out and place them in someone else's hands.  Does a part of me still hope and pray for a surprise baby -ABSOLUTELY- I won't lie.  But submitting and being thankful for what I have is what I've been told to do, and that's what I'll strive for.  I can be happy for others that are having babies, whether the 1st to the 5th or beyond, because I don't want to detract for what a joyous thing it is, to be a parent.  I may never have another baby of my own, and someday, I'll be at peace about that.  But I'm not yet.  Like so many things, this is something I'll have to give up to God to change about me, because I can't do it.

Tomorrow night, I'm taking out the trim.

That's what he said.  That's what I thought he would be doing.   But then this happened.

 That doesn't look like trim to me.  That's a toilet.  In my foyer.  Yeah, sure, c'mon over, sit on the potty and take your shoes off.  G'head, make yourself at home!

We've been together 13 years, almost 14.  You'd think I would have known that this is what "taking out the trim" would be.  The beginning of the bathroom remodel I thought we were starting next week.  I'm not upset, mostly because there isn't much point in being upset.  He can't put the toilet back in until he puts in flooring, so...yeah.  When I was in high school my parents fixed up the bathroom.  The toilet sat in front of the big picture window for weeks.  Weeks, not days, or "a" week, WEEKS.  I don't remember why, and I don't think that matters.  What matters is that the toilet sat in front of the picture window for WEEKS.  Did I mention that I was in high school?  Yes, it's possible that I'm remembering it wrong, but that event has scarred me for life.  A toilet in the picture window for WEEKS, people.  WEEKS.  And now I have one in my foyer. 

I may have found a sure-fire way to save money...

I've said before that I get ideas & inspiration from other blogs for all sorts of areas of life, and last night, I got one of the best multi-purpose ideas ever.  I've mentioned the incredibly beautiful and amazing blog, A Holy Experience before, and this post made me smile and cry and laugh.  If you want to get to the heart of it all, or don't have much time, scroll to about the middle of the post and read about their Collecting Box.  Or, you can read the letter I'm referring to further on in this post.  This idea works because it meets some important goal-setting rules-
1 It's motivating
2 It's easy
3 You have a long term goal that's broken into smaller goals

On to the idea...Which is for married people...And she's so much more elegant about it...

She calls it a Collecting Box phenomena.  The idea is to put a box on your dresser.  A Collecting Box.  For dollar bills, to go towards a honeymoon, a dream vacation for just you and your spouse.  What makes this Collecting Box work is that you put a dollar in it every time you have sex.  So, not only are you saving for something fun, you're doing something fun whilst saving!  Also, I must point out, that if you're not engaging in this ahem, activity, very often, it would be a way to encourage more...activity.  And if you are being, erm, active, and you have kids, it makes for a nice code.  I'm thinking of sending Bry-D a picture text of a dollar bill and asking if he'd like to spend it.  Or waving a dollar bill in front of him once the kids are in bed.  And if you're ever not in the mood or need a reason to, you know, you can always remind yourself that this will get you a dollar closer to your dream vacation.  For those of you that aren't going to visit her site, she states that the idea comes from an Ann Landers letter, and here's the letter-(with no date, I couldn't find it in the Ann Landers Archives)

“Dear Ann Landers: Last weekend, we celebrated my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary. This morning, they left on a long-awaited trip to Hawaii. They were as excited as if it were their honeymoon.

When my parents married, they had only enough money for a three-day trip 50 miles from home. They made a pact that each time they made love, they would put a dollar in a special metal box and save it for a honeymoon in Hawaii for their 50th anniversary.
Dad was a policeman, and Mom was a schoolteacher. They lived in a modest house and did all their own repairs. Raising five children was a challenge, and sometimes, money was short, but no matter what emergency came up, Dad would not let Mom take any money out of the “Hawaii account.” As the account grew, they put it in a savings account and then bought CDs.
My parents were always very much in love. I can remember Dad coming home and telling Mom, “I have a dollar in my pocket,” and she would smile at him and reply, “I know how to spend it.”
When each of us children married, Mom and Dad gave us a small metal box and told us their secret, which we found enchanting. All five of us are now saving for our dream honeymoons. Mom and Dad never told us how much money they had managed to save, but it must have been considerable because when they cashed in those CDs, they had enough for airfare to Hawaii plus hotel accommodations for 10 days and plenty of spending money.
As they told us good-bye before leaving, Dad winked and said, “Tonight, we are starting an account for Cancun. That should only take 25 years.”

– Loving Daughter in Abilene, Texas“

I'm thinking of making this our go-to Wedding Gift. 
Bry-D and I never went on a Honeymoon.  We always said we would go on our 10th anniversary, but I was big pregnant that year, and the following year was a contract year(in union speak that means you have to stop spending in case of a strike).  This summer will be twelve years, I wonder if we can manage to save enough for a trip this year?  At least if we use this savings method we'll definately have fun trying!