Tuesday, May 12, 2009
How I get my ox to move
My ox is my dear and sweet hubby, Bry-D. I am not insulting him by calling him an ox, I think that sounds alot better than calling him phlegmatic. If you've ever read about personalities, you might recognize either of these-Tim LaHaye has a book about four different personalities, based on Hippocrates four personalities. And Bry-D is very phlegmatic, or a strong ox. The ox personality is stubborn. Unmovable. Really, just like an ox. I was thinking about Bry-D's ox traits because of a completely different subject that I will post about later, but I realised some interesting things. First, I'm glad I read about personalities-if I hadn't I might have tried to change Bry-D, and honey, there ain't no changing an ox. Think about an ox-they stand and do what they are interested in-eat grass. Ever tried to move an ox? Try pushing, shoving, hitting, kicking, or yelling at him, and the most you will get is either a look or maybe he will shift his weight. You can get an ox to move by taking a big stick, hitting him upside the head as hard as you can, and telling him, MOVE. Then he'll amble away, disinterested, and not really sure why you felt the need to be so violent. Sheesh. All you had to do was ask. I realised early on that Bry-D was unmovable, and if things were going to go well, I had to adapt. And that was fine, b/c I'm good at that. Mostly I had to change how I went about trying to get him to move. See, as I've mentioned, I love change, Bry-D hates change. New things, different things, go completely against his nature, so I've come to the conclusion that God brought us together so that I could teach him how to have fun, and try new things. Likewise, Bry-D teaches me to be responsible and stable. As much as I'm able. So, I realised that I've found out his weakness, or the big stick that I have. It is me. If something is important to me, he'll do it, because he's a softie and wants me to be happy. It's not as simple as it sounds, though. I have to get his attention, get him to consider whatever it is, and then make sure he understands, this is important to me. And, just because he's agreed to do something, doesn't mean he jumps on the wagon and moves forward in that direction. He seems to have two speeds-slow, and slower. I have tried to jump on his back, dig in my spurs and yell "giddyap!" He just looks at me like I'm crazy and keeps eating grass. So, I have learned to wait. And wait. And sometimes, wait some more. Frustrating man moves slower than a turtle. And I have to be repetitous. I have to say over and over again that I want to do something, in several different settings, and then, somewhat unsure, he'll say, "this must be really important to you, you've mentioned it before." Well, duh. Pain in the neck ox.
Posted by LeeandLoren at 8:12 AM