A picture is worth a thousand words

But a matched set is priceless.  The paper in the top picture says, 'Proof of

Hemorrhoids reading.' The paper on the bottom picture says, "Hemorrhoids revenge" 

Would you like to hear one of my stories? 

Alright, then, here it is.  I am an obsessive reader.  There's a bit of a story as to why that is, too.  But we'll stay on task today and talk about that later.  When I was 10-12 years old, I had noticed that when someone, *cough* Dad, went into the bathroom with reading material and turned on what I thought of as the noisy light, he could be in there for-ev-er, and no one tried to get him out.  In a house with five females and 2 bathrooms, this was a big deal.  To be able to read without having to do my chores or be bothered, I would turn on the noisy light(don't worry, by the time I was 22 I knew what it really was for) sit and read.  For hours, or just a half hour.  When my family figured out what was really going on, they all thought I was actually sitting on the toilet the entire time I was in there, when I was really on the floor or in the bathtub reading.  Out of concern for my well being, my father said, "You can't keep doing that, you'll get hemorrhoids."  Well, I didn't know what that was, and neither did The Quilter; but we did know it was associated with the toilet, and anything that is preceded by "or you'll" is Not. Good.  And thus, The Quilter had a way to get me out of the bathroom, fast.  She would stand outside the bathroom door and, in the exact same tone and volume as Bill Cosby saying 'Hey, Fat Albert!' She would shout,

 

"HEY HEMORRHOIDS!!" 

 

And as long as I wasn't actually using the bathroom, I would come running out, ready to attack.  And that's where the picture comes from.  The Quilter thought I was in there reading, grabbed the camera, threw the door open, and clicked the picture. But I wasn't just reading, I was also actually using the bathroom. Thanks goodness I was wearing my footie jammies with a booty opening! Otherwise it could have been REALLY embarrassing! Also, if you could please disregard my 'fro, that was my mother's doing.  How did I get this picture?  My Mom found it, and knew just what to do with it, so we all got a copy.

 

What about the other picture?  That is from our sister trip.  I told The Quilter I wouldn't blog that picture, but if I'm posting a picture of myself on the toilet, The Quilter is going down with me! In that post, I mention that on our last night of Sister Trip 2011, The Quilter falls down in the hallway & had trouble getting to the room.  Here's what I didn't tell you.  As she dragged herself to the room, and once in the room, she wouldn't stop going on about how she must have an awful bruise on her butt.  Later she's in the bathroom, I assume bent over checking her bruised behind, and I get the idea to take a picture of her, bent over and holding her butt while looking in the mirror.  So, I throw open the door and click the camera.  The picture ended up being of the extremely messy counter top and sink, my aim was off.  But, I sat on floor laughing, b/c The Quilter was not, in fact, checking her bruise.  She was sitting on the toilet, using it.  The Nurse comes over to see why I'm laughing so hard, and she falls to the floor with me.  The whole time The Quilter is going off on us indignantly.  I raise the camera to get a new, better photo, and The Quilter(still muttering indignantly)starts rummaging around the counter top, looking for a towel.  She somehow finds one that's still folded, and as she whips it out to cover herself and foil my photo op, she realises it is a washrag, and barely reaches her knees.  Ah, such a wonderful moment in my life!

As soon as I saw the other photo, I knew exactly what I was going to do.  If ever you come to my house and use the front bathroom, when you leave it, you'll see these two photos; and now you know the story.  And yes, I do realise this is the second story I've told you about me and a toilet.  Ah, well, you can't hide everything!

The last day

The Nurse had already left, she had to work, but as for the rest of us,

 

We sorted through our shell collection.  Everyone got a Mason jar with their name on it, some PCB sand and then we went around in a circle so everyone could fill their jar.

 I didn't mention that when the rain came, lighting hit the house and took out Gigi's TV and her land line wasn't working.  She had the phone man come out, but we actually had to convince her to speak with her insurance, seeing as how she's an independent Southern Woman and all.  In the afternoon, all the Mom's took a nap and the kids watched a movie on a little tiny DVD player. 

 We visited family, and somehow I only got pictures of the kids & Chester.

 Chester is at least 15 years old, and a great dancer.  I got him to show off for the kids. 

This would be a keep forever picture, except Eliz has...yeah, Eliz is 8.  But look at how great Casserole looks! 

We also cleaned up from the storm to help Gigi out. The Teacher is petrified by heights, and I'm not. So when she said she was going up on the roof to clean the branches, I offered several times to go instead. But, seeing as how she's a wanna be independent Southern Woman and all, she went up. The left side of the ladder was missing the thingy that keeps it from sinking into the ground, so as she went up it tilted a bit, which shook her just a tiny bit. Once she was on the roof, Gigi brought a broom over to where she was.  The Teacher had her back turned and so, didn't see that Gigi was indicating she was going to throw the broom onto the roof, directly behind the Teacher, as Gigi said, "I'm going to put this right here, Darlin'."  And clatter boing bang, the broom flew to right behind the Teacher, and The Teacher flew almost to the top of trees.  What really made this funny was Gigi's reaction to the Teacher freaking out.  Gigi's a sadisitic old woman!  She bent forward at the waist with her hands at her sides, and delightfully declared, "HA-HA!!!!"  Dang, Gigi, showing your true colors, huh?  To add to the Teacher's truama, even though I kept warning her the ladder was going to tilt to the left, she still nearly died when it did. 

 

We got eveything packed up, and left for Indy, about the time we said we would.  We made a stop at The Nurse's house.  We caught her just before she had to leave for work.

 

The drive home was full of rain that we had hoped to bring all the way back to Indy with us, but didn't.  There was a fun moment when we stopped for a potty break and change into jammies at Steak N Shake.  The SUV's were parked next to each other and since it was raining, we had all the kids get out between the two vehicles.  We parked next to the drive through window, and as we started walking the kids across the lot, a couple in their car got to watch the kids just a' keep on comin'.  They actually commented to The Quilter about it.  The rest of the drive wasn't very interesting, probably because everyone was worn out.  As usual, the last 30 minutes were pure hell, because you are so close to home, and so incredibly tired.  I have decided that this was not a vacation.  Vacation means you relax, you rest, you get back refreshed.  Since that didn't happen, this was a trip.  A very good trip, but for sure, not a vacation.

 

Professional sleepers

The Nurse is said to be a Professional Sleeper.  As it turns out, on this trip, some other people gave her a run for her money.

Aww, doesn't she look sweet?  Hehe, I don't think she knew I took this!

 The Country Boy & Tink watching the kids.  Well, that's what he was supposed to be doing!

 Ahh, the next generation of Professional Sleepers!  Bonnie & Casserole

 They consistently slept later than everyone else.

I'm sure the Nurse is proud of her protege.

A sad realization

Every morning,before the others are up, Lex and I have taken a walk, just the two of us, along this side of the house, down the fenceline to the street,

 across the yard to the driveway, and back up to this part of the yard.  We don't do much else than walk slowly along, but it's been a sweet time for me with him.

And this morning as we were walking, I realized that it was the last time, for a long time, that I would get to do this.  We won't get to hold hands and listen to the rooster crow, the horses whinny, and the squirrels chatter.  We won't get to point out where the sunlight dances on the ground, or the tree roots stick out of the ground like gnarled fingers.  Even with this bittersweet thought, I remembered that the good thing was that I did get this time with him, even though it only lasted a few days, I did get to show him how sunlight dances, what unripened pecan shells look like, how the dirt here is red and not brown or black.  I did get him all to myself in the peaceful morning quiet.  And that changes it all back to sweet and wonderful, just like him.

Is that? Is that...RAIN?!?!

After we got to Gigi's and collapsed, we started de-sanding the vehicles and, well, everything else.  We hung towels and the pads to the car seats on the laundry line.  Then the strangest thing happened.  this wet stuff started coming out of the sky.  I knew I'd seen it somewhere, but it took A, the Teacher & I a few minutes to figure out what it was, it had been so long since we'd seen it in Indy.

It was...RAIN!

 The Teacher realised it fast enough to get the car doors shut.

 But it was too late for all the stuff we had set out to dry.

Ah, well, at least it rained somewhere.

The beach!

We started our time at the beach by introducing the kids to sand.
"Kids, this is sand, and unlike the sand in a sand box, this stuff stays with you.  For along time.  In cracks and crevices you didn't know you had.  So go on, and have fun! And by the way, don't even try to avoid it, it will get you."

Then into the water.  It was the first time at the beach for all but Casserole.

The Teacher wanted to try to get some of those trick pictures you see on Pinterest.  And we got some, but my favorite picture from all that is the one of everyone working together to get a trick picture.

Oh, we did have a small problem with an over tired Bonnie throwing a fit.  She really DID NOT want her picture taken.

At one point, we thought we lost Clyde & Lex, but they were quickly found getting sand in the food.  I mean, helping themselves to a snack.  Note for next time - put a lock on the cooler.

We went to the Pier when we left the beach.  As usual, we had a little unexpected fun.  A family was trying to get a picture, and some of our little people walked in on it.  After we exchanged jokes about how they would explain the much larger family to friends back home, to their delight, we went ahead and threw all our kids into their picture.  The rest of the time we walked around the pier, we called their Dad, New Dad.  They must have had our sense of humor, because they thought it was great.

What?  It's not like we're a really big group that takes up the entire Pier or anything!

It's a public fishing area, and we got to see a couple of fish being reeled in.  I think they were both King Mackerels, but I'm not positive.

At one point two of our little people got in someones way when they were trying to cast a line, and one of New Dad's actual kids teased me, 'Someone needs to watch those kids!'  and I said, "No, their Dad should be disciplining them!'  And he lost it.  We wandered around and took a few pictures. Well, actually, we took alot of pictures, but I'm only putting a few on here.

As we left, we shouted a loud and rowdy, "Bye DAD!" to New Dad, and went walking around a touristy area, looking for ice cream.  First we fould Ron Jon's, and the kids posed for surfing pictures.

And there was a train,

When we were giving up hope, we found ice cream!  We had actually left the touristy place when we found it.

Then we headed for Gigi's house.  As expected, the beach was a blast!