Saturday, April 14, 2012

Date night!

Okay, let's talk about this.  When did she get so grown up?  When did she get so pretty?  If you saw this was happening and didn't tell me, we're not friends anymore.  I've been telling Bry-D since she was born that he was going to take her on dates. 
He didn't get it until recently as he began to notice her going from little child to little girl. Our goal is for him to spoil her so much that no punk kid will ever be able to keep up with her Daddy. Which is what my Dad did, and it worked. In my opinion at least.  I told her Daddy was taking her on a date and she needed to get dressed in something warm, so she got on her favorite pants, belt and shirt, then had to settle for a less than favorite sweater.  Ah, well, we'll be more prepared next time.  I liked how she knew to get 'dressed up' for a date. 
My father took me fishing in summer and bowling in the winter.  It may have been once a month, but to me it seemed like every weekend my Father and I went someplace, just us.  And I babbled and babbled, and he listened.  Now that I'm older, it's occurred to me that he may not have been hanging on my every word,though it seemed like it to me.  Because a few days later, he always asked about the things I said.  I don't know if he tuned out everything but a few sentences and then asked about those things, or if he really did hear the 3,000 words I said each time he was around.  I remember in my teens following him around, talking non-stop, and I never thought that he didn't like it, didn't have time, or wasn't interested.  Which is why it took me some time to adjust to Bry-D not always listening, didn't always have time and wasn't always interested.  But I have been drilling into him for years that the most important thing about these dates is for him to do two things.  1. Shut up and listen, listen, and listen, and make sure she at least feels like he's paying attention.  2. Do things she wants to do.  She needs to be taught that boys are supposed to do what she wants, because it's so easy for girls to just give up everything for the smallest crush or tiniest bit of attention.  If he trains her to expect boys to do what she wants, it will be a hard thing to swallow if boys try to only do what they enjoy.  In this case, being spoiled and used to getting your own way is a good thing.

When Lex saw that Eliz and Daddy were going out, he asked to go out.  I thought, may as well start training him how to treat girls now.  So we went to Ritters and then sat in the car while he drove.  We talked about motorcycles, Spiderman, and how yummy chocolate ice cream is. 
He doesn't get it yet, but soon enough he'll realise I'm molding him into all the things he needs to be to get the girl.  Other boys will have to work pretty darn hard to compete with him.  In college my guy friends worked really hard to be gentleman.  They made a very conscious choice about how they treated the girls in our circle.  They opened the doors for us, walked us to our cars, and if we went out to eat, they made sure each girl's food was paid for so she didn't have to.  One thing they did that is small but made an impact is that they always walked on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road.  Another thing that I remember is hearing one of them get on a guy he didn't know for cussing around us.  He was pretty upset and a kept saying, "You DON'T talk like that around women!"  The guy wasn't cursing at us, but in our hearing.  There was another time a man did that, told someone else to watch their language because a woman was around, and I remember both occurrences.  It was not some big conflict, no huge fistfight, but I remember it because it's not normal.  It should be - boys should go around protecting the girls around them, not exploiting them.  And I'll be hanged if my son ever disrespects a female and thinks he'll live to do it again.  My son will be a trained gentleman, by both his father, and by myself, and hopefully, he'll set a precedent for other boys that will change the way things are done - if only in his circle of influence.

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